I just went back and read my Xanga over the past 1.5 years... I miss the California Stacie... I liked that girl...

Today as I was putting on my socks and shoes, I saw a scar on my foot.  The scar dates back to Jan 17, 2006…my first day at Cal State Northridge.  I had great hopes for the day.  I dressed up in business pants, a nice blouse and my evil black dress shoes.  Even though the shoes had already put blisters on my feet…I was hoping that this day might be different.  New job, new hopes, no blisters. 

By lunch it had become perfectly obvious to me that this would, in fact, not be the case. My feet were already starting to hurt from the pain of newly formed blisters…one on the back of my left heel and one on the inside of my right heel. 

I remember walking out to the baseball field that first day to meet the coaches.  I stopped to take off my shoe b/c I thought that surely there was a rock in it…I mean what could possibly make my foot hurt that badly.  I hobbled around the field and met the coaches and then while walking back to the office…I took off my shoes and walked in my stockings.

My shoes stayed off for the rest of the day.  And for the rest of their existence.  I never put those shoes back on again.  I had finally learned my lesson.  In fact, I even gave them to Goodwill when I moved out of my apartment in North Hollywood.

Today as I saw the scar I put my finger on it to rub it…and it tugged a little. I guess that reminded me that no matter how far we get from a wound there will always be scars.  I have had many wounds in my life, physical and emotional.  Some are still very fresh.  But even the ones that aren’t still tug when I rub on them.